Ginsberg, Thermodynamics, and Lunch.

Some comments recently by a friend of a friend of mine got my attention - he's fallen into the John Bedini fraud (overunity/perpetual motion nonsense). In one of my responses I pasted in the first law of thermodynamics, which we all know is "energy can neither be created nor destroyed". In short, perpetual motion is impossible, period.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laws_of_thermodynamics (I summarize these at the end of this post)

But that's not the point of this note. Along the way I ran across Ginsberg's Theorem:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ginsberg%27s_Theorem

Which restates the laws of thermodynamics in terms of game play;
You can’t win. (restatement of First law of thermodynamics)
You can’t break even. (restatement of Second law of thermodynamics)
You can’t even get out of the game. (restatement of Third law of thermodynamics)

And then there is Freeman's commentary on Ginsburg:

Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem meaningful is based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg’s Theorem.

Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win.
Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break even.
Mysticism is based on the assumption that you can quit the game.

Neither Ginsberg's Theorem nor Freeman's Commentary concern the Zeroth Law of Thermodynamics, but It can be analogously formulated:

0. Ginsberg: You have to play the game.
0. Freeman: Anarchy is based on the assumption that you don't have to play the game.

With this background, I now present for your consideration:

SOMERS' THEOREM - a restatement of the laws of thermodynamics in terms of LUNCH.

Zeroth) You don't get any lunch.

First) There is no free lunch.

Second) No matter how big the lunch buffet is, you will eventually stop eating lunch.

Third) If your lunch is frozen, you need to microwave it before consuming it.

-Andy Somers

Appendix: The actual laws:

There are the zeroth thru third laws, which I will summarize:

Zeroth) If two systems are in thermal equilibrium with a third, they are in thermal equilibrium with each other.

First) Energy can be neither created nor destroyed. It can only change forms.

Second) Two independent systems no longer in isolation will reach equilbrium.

Third) As temperature approaches absolute zero, the entropy of a system approaches a minimum.
Searching for an amazing actor? Andrew Somers is classically trained, and experienced in live improv and immersive theater in addition to on camera. He's also a writer and film editor, and makes amazing choices to help you tell your story.